Sometimes Joy, Sometimes Sorrow
by Muirgheal-of-Lantern-Waste
Summary: Your average LOTR nerd, Aspen Cheng finds herself stuck in the middle of her least favorite love story: Elrond and Celebrian. Transformed into an elf that apparently looks a lot like Elrond's beloved wife, she struggles to make her way in a new world. Rated T for extreme sadness. Image courtesy of Elistariel on DeviantArt
1. I Suddenly Have Children

A fanfic reinventing the story of Celebrían, since I can't stand how her story ends. And of course there's lots of Elrond, because A) he's Celebrían's husband and B) he has awesome eyebrows in the movie.

* * *

My neck could no longer support my head and thunked into my calculus textbook. _There is too much random junk in there, I bet. That must be why my head feels so heavy._ It was three in the afternoon, and while I usually feel a little tired at that time, it was nothing compared to how I felt. Staying up all last night watching LOTR interviews and deleted scenes probably hadn't helped either, although I couldn't remember ever being this tired. I let my eyelids close.

In my closed eyes, a white light began to glow, whiter and whiter, bigger and bigger, until it filled my vision. I thrashed around, blinking in an attempt to clear my eyes. I have been at risk for juvenile glaucoma all my life, and now I feared that it was finally coming to get me. Never mind that I had no idea what the symptoms of glaucoma were…

I heard voices speaking in a flowing, lovely tongue. _Oh no! _I thought, _Now I'm hearing things!_ Someone put a cool cloth on my head as the whiteness slowly faded away. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. My brain was obviously too full of random math gibberish to properly function, because I didn't register that there was a person who had not been there previously and there were voices speaking in a flowing foreign language.

I opened my eyes slowly, expecting a hospital and my anxious parents. Another burst of the language I didn't get seemed to indicate that everyone had been waiting for me to wake up. I took stock of my surroundings—definitely not a hospital. From my comfortable spot in a very clean, perfectly made bed, I could see that the room was open to the outside, where a forest was enjoying summer. Intricately decorated columns supported the ceiling, and people wove in and out, talking in quiet voices. And such people! They were dressed in flowing robes of many tasteful colors, and their long, perfectly straight hair hung loose. They had pointed ears and rather angular features.

Wait.

What kind of people has pointed ears?

_Wait a minute! This isn't—no it can't be. I'm among elves! So that foreign language is Elvish._ Whether they spoke Sidarin or Quenya I didn't know. I wasn't (and still am not) much of a language person. I tried to sit upright, but merely flopped around uselessly. A garble of tangled sound burbled from my mouth.

One of them hastened to my bedside, tucking me back into the bedclothes and singing softly. Some of them left the room, returning later with another one—this one with the most magnificently frightening eyebrows known to mankind. He looked very stern upon entering the room, but then only looked concerned (and thus an iota less frightening) as he came close to me. He said something in Elvish, obviously expecting a response. I stared at him blankly.

"Um, hi. Do you speak English?" I ventured.

It was his turn to stare at me.

Before he replied, I realized that English in Middle Earth was Common Tongue, and that Elrond—for that was the only character with crazy eyebrows—was speaking Common Tongue at the Council of Elrond, which was my second favorite scene in the entire trilogy. "I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything, but are you Elrond?"

He smiled sadly. "Of course I'm Elrond."

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. He had obviously been expecting me to say something else. "Um… so I guess this is Rivendell…" At this point anything I said would make everything even worse. Being an awkward idiot, I didn't keep my mouth shut.

He drew a deep breath, as if summoning strength from deep inside him, and smiled encouragingly. "Yes, we are in Imladris. Do you know who you are, _meleth nin_?"

"Sure I do. I'm Aspen Chen, from Anderson, South Carolina." With horror, I remembered the calculus test I'd been studying for. "And I have a calc test today!" Looking back, it was a very odd set of priorities. Being magically teleported to Rivendell got a weaker reaction from me than my calc test. I suppose I should have been happy to get out of it. At that time, I clung to the pieces of my memory that I knew were sane.

Elrond looked stricken.

* * *

I hope too much. When I saw Celebrían finally awake, I dared to hope that everything would be as it was. Everything would be wonderful and golden again, just like before she was captured.

But as she stared at me with blank eyes of a stranger, I thought, _Perhaps it would be better if she had been killed._

_No. That is a terrible, terrible thing to think. _

"It'll be a while before she fully remembers everything, my lord Elrond. You're a healer; you know these things. She at least recognizes you." said Erestor, one of my chief advisors.

* * *

Elrond silently handed me a small mirror. Confused, I took it from him, and looked at my reflection.

"What the—" I spluttered. My unkempt black ponytail had been usurped by flowing, elvishly perfect silver hair. My skin was several tones lighter than it should have been and perfectly flawless. My ears were pointed. The mirror version of me was too perfect, too elvish. I was an elf.

And then it hit me. I didn't know much Elvish, but I was fairly certain "Meleth nin" meant "my love". I'd read enough fanfics and wiki articles to know that Elrond's wife was Celebrían, daughter of Galadriel.

"Oh no. Please don't tell me you think I'm Celebrían." I didn't look at Elrond. Poor guy. Other than being a really powerful elf, he has nothing going for him. And his beloved daughter will marry a human and be separated from him FOREVER. I hope that hasn't happened yet in the story.

At this horrible moment, two really similar elves—Elrond's twin sons—came into the room. "_Naneth_!" They clasped my hands. I gulped and extricated myself from them.

"I know this really sucks for all of us, but I'm not anybody's mother."

They looked even more horror-stricken than Elrond did. I winced. There was probably a better way to break the news to them. "But… mother…" one of them stammered.


	2. I Impress Everyone with my Manners

ZOMGZ! FINALS ARE OVER! SCHOOL IS OVER! This means I can actually update… BTW Glorfindel will appear at some point… He really is awesome. And I'm very sorry for taking so long.

So…. I wrote this in May, when school ended… but now obviously it's June, and I haven't updated yet. I've kept thinking that I need to fix this chapter, but I figure that an imperfect chapter is better than a really late chapter…

Disclaimer: (probably belongs in chapter 1, but whatevs…) I do not own Rivendell as much as I would like to, and I sadly do not own any of the elves. My only character is my OC, Aspen Cheng.

Now that you're thoroughly tired of me talking, here's the story.

* * *

I sat up and hugged the stammering twin. I really shouldn't have snapped at them like that, but what else was there to say? He started to whimper a little, which was startling for such a grown-up looking elf. He _had _just lost his mother, in a way. I hoped no one would think badly of him for it. Not knowing what else to do I started to sing a lullaby my father used to tuck me in with. It had nothing to do with the present situation but had a soft, comforting sound.

_Yue meng long, niao meng long _

_Ying huo zhao ye kong_

The other elves began to leave as quietly as possible, until only Elrond, the twins, and I remained. Erestor left as well, nodding respectfully to Elrond on his way out.

_Shan meng long shu meng long _

_Qiu chong zai ne nong._

I stroked his hair just the way my mother always did after I failed at something. He calmed down somewhat. My mother! Would I ever see her again? What if I was stuck here forever? My father, my mother, my three crazy sisters… they wouldn't know where I was.

_Hua meng long ye meng long _

_Wan feng kou lian long_

And what was happening to my body while I was gone? Was I in a coma… or dreaming… or—heaven forbid—dead?

_Deng meng long ren meng long… _

I could not remember how the rest of the song went. Luckily, the elf had stopped crying and was now breathing normally. He smiled up at me scrubbing at his cheeks. "Where'd you hear that song, Naneth? I've never heard you sing it before." His wobbly smile and childishly wide eyes were at once heart-wrenching and ridiculous. I couldn't help noticing the bow and arrows that he had rather carelessly thrown on the floor when he had entered the room. If I knew about incredibly fit people, I would probably say something about his physique and height that would show in an incredibly vivid way of how he seemed strong. I was merely glad that I had been mistaken for someone that was not his enemy. _I'm lucky I wasn't transported here in my normal self—it might be dangerous for a random human to appear among elves._

I blinked at him. The other twin, who had stood apart from the one I was still holding, cleared his throat. "Perhaps you can wait until Naneth has recovered to reminisce on childhood memories."

I crossed my arms best as I could around the elven twin, mildly frustrated. "I thought—" I started, then yanked my almost-spoken words back into my mouth. I was going to say _I thought elves had great listening skills. What part of "I'm not your mother" did you not get? _But I could not so heartlessly repeat my mistake of but a few minutes earlier and ignore the two elves' denial.

All but pulling the two elves off me, Elrond said to his sons, "Naneth is still weary from the journey. Let us leave her in peace." When they started towards the door, a sudden awareness struck me: I did not want to be alone.

"Wait!" I shouted, struggling out of the bedclothes and attempting to swing my legs off the bed and follow them. Something odd went wrong with my legs and I would have fallen had not Elrond hastened to my side and caught me.

"I—I don't want to be by myself," I explained. "Besides, I don't think I could just lie there."

Elrond said, "Would you like something to eat?"

I realized that I was, in fact, hungry. Being completely transformed into an elf, I hadn't previously noticed. Funny how that works.

Elrond led me through the maze of Rivendell, the twins trailing after us. I considered trying to talk to the three elves, but there was nothing to say. Where I come from, we talk about what colleges you're looking at or attending. What classes are you in and who's your teacher? What did you think of the new _Catching Fire_ trailer? What kind of music do you listen to?

I had no idea what the Elvish educational system was like, and I knew they didn't have movies. Music was most likely out of the question if I didn't want to look like an uncultured idiot. Still, the silence was oppressive.

One of the twins piped up. "Mother, do you remember when you took us to Lothlorien to see I'osi?"

I looked at him blankly. "I'osi? Who or what is that?"

Elrond looked at the twin (Elrohir? Elladan?) and shook his head. "Naneth remembers nothing as of yet, _ion nin_."

They sat me down at a small table in a sunny nook, and someone set a plate before me. I blinked at it. A strange-looking salad and some kind of bread stared back at me. I willed the salad to immediately change into a plate of good ol' Carolina barbecue (the bread was fine), but alas, inhabiting the body of an elf did not come with food transmutation powers. _Ah well, _I thought_, I'm hungry anyway. _I dug into the meal with gusto, scarfing down leaves and tearing off hunks of the bread and stuffing them in my mouth.

I sensed the twins and Elrond staring at me. I turned around and glared at them. "What? I'm hungry!"


	3. I Hear a Great Story

Thanks so much to everyone who followed this story! :D Your patience is astounding.

So…. another update same month-pretty astounding, right?

And I promise promise promise Glorfindel, Celeborn, and Galadriel will appear… just not in this chapter.

WARNING: Beren and Luthien (Silmarillion) spoiler

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything except for Aspen Cheng and my interpretation/retelling of this story. All other characters, world building, and canon plotlines were developed by JRR Tolkien and are copyrighted by his son (I think.)

* * *

After clearly exhibiting to Rivendell's master and his sons my atrocious manners, I wiped my mouth and grinned at them. "That was _delicious_."

Elrond smiled faintly in response, and the twins' stares grew more puzzled. Elves bustled about in the hallway outside, and for a moment the rustling robes and babble of conversation filled in the gap between us. One of the hurrying elves stopped beside Elrond and murmured something in his ear. He rose to leave and turned back to us. "I have something to attend to at the moment." He touched my check briefly, and I saw a glimmer of something in his eyes. Before I had a chance to process this, he had disappeared, leaving me with the distraught twins. I didn't want them to feel as though they needed to entertain me, so I asked to see the library. Again, they brought me through the complexity of Rivendell, stopping in front of a set of wide open wooden doors. The library was larger than my own house—probably twice as large. Intricately latticed windows let in cool green light from the forest that glanced on the variety of books and the many researchers and students scattered throughout the library. To the sides of the great doors, bookshelves stood parallel to the entrance, extending from floor to ceiling, holding books of every size and color imaginable. A space the width of the library entrance and the length of the library had been left for tables, pillars, and lights. It formed a clear path through the wilderness of books, carpeted with some thick, deep shade. Pillars stood at equal intervals along this path and boasted four lamps each, as if the lamps hanging from the ceiling and the light from the windows were not enough.

Being something of a book-lover, I could barely restrain myself from twirling around and shrieking with happiness. I knew, however, from experience that screaming and libraries just don't mix for whatever reason. So I settled for hopping up and down and grinning like an idiot.

The twins didn't seem to know what to do about my peculiar behavior, but one of them quietly ventured, "Remember when you used to take us here and read to us?" I ignored him, entranced at seeing so many beautiful books together in one place. Here, at least, something was familiar. I ran to the nearest bookshelf and pulled down a blue and gold one.

Only then did I realize the problem.

I couldn't read (or even speak with any fluency) Elvish. The few words I knew were "Hannon le," which is "thank you," and (unfortunately) "Naneth," which means "mother." Even the Common Tongue that I spoke must have sounded strangely accented to them.

I stared at the book in my hands and turned the pages looking for any pictures. One of the twins (Did his slightly lighter hair make him Elladan or Elrohir?) pressed a slim volume into my hands. "Can you read to us like you did when we were small?"

His brother shook his head, "Elladan, it's no use. Naneth will remember everything in her own time, and it's no use to hasten the process. Ada already told you that."

I tapped my fingers together and tentatively reached out to pat Elladan on the shoulder. "I would read to you, Elladan, but I can't read Elvish. Could you read it to me instead?"

His expression brightened a bit, though he winced when I completely mangled the pronunciation of his name. He led me to a seat by one of the large latticed windows, and Elrohir followed us. They sat on either side of me, Elladan leaning towards me with the open book in his hand and Elrohir crossing his arms and staring off into the distance. I had just found a way to tell the difference between the two. It was simple. Elladan was the emotional one and Elrohir the stoic, sensible one.

Elladan stopped in his reading. "Naneth? Are you tired? Would you like us to take you back to your room to rest?" Letting the graceful words of an unknown tongue wash over me, I had unconsciously closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder.

I smiled at his concern. "I'm fine, Elladan."

I began to pick out words—first the names Beren and Luthien, which I remembered from reading _The Silmarillion_. A man named Beren loved an elf, Luthien. Her father Thingol, one of the great kings of the distant past had disapproved of their love, setting an impossible task for Beren in which the suitor would be killed. For Luthien's hand, Beren had to recover a Silmaril, a beautiful jewel that shone with a brilliant, pure light. I saw in my mind the rough sketch of the story that I knew, but as Elladan read, the sketch became a black and white outline, which blossomed into color and moved like a film. I watched the battle of the lovers against the werewolf Carcharoth and closed my eyes against the brightness of the Silmaril. I ran through the forest on the hunt for Carcharoth and saw Beren giving the Silmaril to Thingol in a last act of irony. Hearing of his death, I mourned in the house of my father and in the Halls of Mandos. But my breath caught in my throat—oh glorious eucatastrophe—as Mandos himself granted that Beren and I would live happily together, for many years. We would die, but we would be together in the mysterious land where mankind goes when he dies, the land of which elves do not know.

Suddenly, the words ceased. I sat up and shook myself. The pattern of light and shadow in the library had changed; it was already close to evening. The story was almost magical. I had seen the court of Thingol and the great battles against Carcharoth. I had felt keenly the lovers' sorrow at their parting. I had _become_ Luthien. "What sort of spell or enchantment was that?" I asked, forgetting to use my library voice.

Elladan looked at me. "That was just a story, Naneth."

"But I could see what was going on! I did things in the story. I became one of the characters," I protested.

On my right, Elrohir stirred himself. "All stories are so, Naneth. That is why you always told us to watch our words, for words have power."

"I guessed I would find you here, knowing how much you love books."

At the sound of Elrond's voice, I looked up and saw him coming towards us. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"You brought the twins here almost every day when they were small." He smiled warmly at me, making me flush with embarrassment. And then that set me to thinking how AWKWARD this ENTIRE situation was… since I had accidentally ended up being mistaken for someone's wife.

Teleported to a mythical realm and mistaken for a beautiful, beloved queen? Well…. it could be worse.

After leaving the library (and making profuse apologies to Erestor for disturbing the peace), I went off with Elrond and the twins to eat dinner, again privately instead of in the Great Hall. It was already late—we'd spent quite some time in the library. After dinner, I began to yawn, and they took me back to the room I'd woken up in. At the bedroom door, I slipped away from the three overwrought elves and began to slowly close the door over their murmured concerns. No, I did not need an elf-maiden to attend to me and no, I would be fine going to bed without a bath and yes, I would manage on my own. That being settled, I firmly closed the door on all three faces and turned around to survey the room by the moonlight. The bed had been made (again) and a pristine white nightgown was laid on it. I nearly changed into the nightgown but remembered that the room was wide open to the outdoors. Luckily, I found curtains hanging beside the windows and pulled them closed. The moon was still bright enough to shine through the curtains, so I could see relatively well. I changed and leapt onto the bed, reveling in its soft comfort.

I lay in bed for a while, just thinking, before I went to sleep. It was really rather inconvenient, how Celebrían and I both liked books. It certainly didn't help highlight the fact that I WAS NOT CELEBRÍAN. I thought some more about my situation… it wasn't all that bad. I could pretend to be Celebrían and live happily in Imladris, which would be pretty nice. Or I could show them just how much I wasn't Celebrían and still live in Imladris… I mean, what would they do? Kick me out for a mistake they made? I felt bad for Elladan, the twin who seemed so hopeful to find his mother. I couldn't possibly pretend to be his mother just so that I could have a grand old time in Rivendell. Besides, I had to get home at some point. So then I resolved to convince my hosts that I was truly a guest, and not a part of the family. _I'll act as un-Celebrían-like as possible, and that'll convince them. Then they'll find a way to send me back. _It was good to have a plan, even a simple one, instead of blundering about, hoping that things would work out. Content with my make-shift plan, I fell asleep.

_I waved good-bye to Elrond until I could hardly see the gleam of his robe through the trees. Why did he worry so? Little Arwen wouldn't give him that much trouble over a week, and I knew the way from Rivendell to Lórien well. So I was lost in my thoughts._

_A flash of metal, a clang of discordant voices, and Orcs came upon me like a horde of flies—if flies were warped, grey, and horrid. Unarmed and powerless to resist, I screamed and screamed. They came at me with their weapons, twisted shards of metal that wished they were swords. Fire burned in my veins and on my tongue as a poisoned blade found its mark. Through it all I continually had to evade the assaults on my mind, but I was failing, and I could hear their own cries of agony somehow twisting and morphing into my own. One of the orcs reached out and pawed me in a parody of a caress. I batted away his hand to no effect—he would not leave me alone—and I screamed louder than I had before and he wouldn't stop and…_

And… there was a elf's voice, singing a gentle melody. It was very dark, and I realized that someone was holding me, stroking my hair. I began to sob.

"Hush, my heart. You are in Imladris. You are safe, and nothing can harm you here."

"There were Orcs…"

"Sh…. there -are no Orcs here, nor will there ever be."

As he sang to me and spoke comforting words, the sickeningly bright images of monsters faded. My heart beat out a less frenetic percussion within my chest, and my breaths slowed. My eyes drifted closed again into an untroubled sleep.

Glorfindel, recently returned from a visit to Mirkwood, had thrown himself onto his bed when he heard a sickening scream in Imladris. He leapt up with surprise, took his sword in hand, and charged off in the direction of the cacophony. Suddenly they died down to a muffled whimpering. He found the source of the sound—a guest room close to both the infirmary and Elrond's own chambers. The door had been left ajar, and Glorfindel pushed it in to see Elrond holding Celebrían. He hesitated for a moment, embarrassed at having barged in and clearly having overreacted to a simple nightmare. But that had been quite a terrifying scream.

"She has fallen asleep, Glorfindel. There's no need to hover in the doorway." Elrond must have been extremely exhausted. Glorfindel, one of his closest friends, had not heard the Master of Imladris speak so in many years. Worry and fear showed plainly in his voice, try as he might cover it in that wry way of his.

"What is it, Elrond?" Glorfindel entered the room and arranged himself beside the bed.

"It's Celebrían. She—she—Ai Valar, I hardly know where to start. After Elladan and Elrohir rescued her from the Orcs, she slept for days."

Glorfindel nodded. He'd gone on the trip to Mirkwood in Elrond's place so that the Master of Imladris could heal his beloved.

"She neither recognizes me or the children nor remembers anything of her former life here. I know I should not expect healing immediately, but tonight she was screaming about Orcs and…" Elrond trailed off unhappily.

"And it breaks your heart," Glorfindel finished, knowing his friend better than any brother.

A sigh was the only response. Glorfindel and Elrond sat in silent vigil over their charge until the morning came.

* * *

I'm not the best at writing deeply emotional moments, so forgive the clumsiness! XD And I stayed up until 12:36AM to write this. HALF AN HOUR INTO TOMORROW YOU GAIS!


	4. I Yell at Elves

Hello again, O lovely readers! I got distracted by free online games (the bane of my existence) paperwork for school (the other bane of my existence), a new computer, and really tasty strawberries… which is not a particularly good excuse for not being active.

DISCLAIMER: All characters except Aspen Chen, Middle Earth © JRR Tolkien (basically everything in the story belongs to Tolkien except for Aspen and my twisted-around ending)

Sweet birdsong rang from the trees. Elvish songs and laughter followed pattering footsteps around the halls of Imladris. But in one room, open to all the song of the morning, two exhausted elves and one reembodied human slumbered deeply. The morning light danced into the bedchamber, shining into closed eyes.

Elrond slowly opened one eye and decided that the effort of holding it open was greater than he could muster… surely Imladris could run smoothly for just one more hour…

Someone knocked at the door.

Apparently Imladris could NOT run smoothly for even half a minute.

Elrond roused himself and tottered towards the door, squinting at the elf who had knocked. He was not aware that his squinting face looked far sterner than he meant it to be and that the poor young messenger was quaking. "Lady G—G—Galadriel wishes to announce that she has heard of how the Orcs captured Lady Celebrían and has come to assist with her healing."

Elrond blinked a few times, experiencing a rare moment in which something happened that he had not anticipated. It made sense that Galadriel would come—Celebrían was her daughter, after all—but she _had _to send her messenger at the most inopportune moment for Elrond. She had done that to him ever since he had been courting Celebrían.

"Have they already arrived?" The Master of Imladris sounded wearier than he intended.

"Yes, my lord. They arrived last night, but we saw that you were healing Lady Celebrían and did not wish to intrude."

Elrond thanked the messenger and shook Glorfindel awake as quietly as he could. Despite being one of Middle-Earth's most exceptional elves, Glorfindel had also fallen asleep during the night-long vigil. Unfortunately, Celebrían had heard them. She rolled around in bed, rolled too far, and fell off the bed with a thump.

Elrond swallowed a cry of concern. It was unlike Celebrían to do anything with a thump. It must be the trauma of her encounter with the Orcs. He briefly whispered a petition to Ilúvatar and the Valar, not that he particularly expected a response. As he hastened to her side, she shouted "I'm up! I'm up!" She leapt to her feet with less than her usual grace, tripped in the blankets on the floor, and fell. Elrond wondered what he was going to tell Galadriel.

_Apparently_, I hadn't lost _all_ my humanness, something I wasn't sure I liked. Elrond helped me up, and I noticed someone I hadn't yet met, a blonde elf. Like Elrond, this fellow held himself even more confidently than the average elf as he attempted to pile the blankets and pillows back onto the bed. I guess he was making it so I wouldn't trip again.

"Hi there! Who are you? What are you doing here?"

The stranger turned, apparently expecting me to recognize him (like everyone else so far). He didn't seem familiar, though of course I didn't expect everyone to look like they did in the movies. The books were extremely unhelpful, having provided little more than hair color.

"She truly remembers nothing, my friend," Elrond explained. "This is Glorfindel, one of my closest friends. He almost lives here."

The blonde elf—Glorfindel—smiled reassuringly. "You'll remember in time, I'm sure."

"So, what's the plan for today?" (I asked because elves always seem like people who have things planned out.)

Elrond shifted his feet. I could have sworn he looked _uncomfortable_. But of course there was no reason for an elven lord to feel uncomfortable in his own home...

"Your mother and father are here to see you."

"My mother and father...? Oh. Celeborn and Galadriel. That'll be cool. Wait. Do they want to see me NOW?"

"I'm sure they won't mind waiting," Elrond said firmly.

"Elrond... you know how Galadriel is..."

I grinned. "With Galadriel now means NOW, right?"

The two elves looked at each other, as very good friends do, and shook their heads. "More like yesterday," Glorfindel noted mournfully.

"Well then give a girl some privacy and let me change!" I all but shoved them out of the room. The chest of drawers I'd seen earlier, upon some searching, held slips and various other underclothes. I realised that I had failed to ask Elrond where I could find a suitable dress.

Well then.

Feeling particularly sheepish, I poked my head out of the door. "Um, I kind of need help."

Elrond and Glorfindel had already left, presumably to dress and do whatever but an elven lady saw me and hurried over. She smiled at me in a particularly motherly way. "You 're not used to staying in the infirmary, are you, Celebrían? Would you like for me to bring you one of your dresses?"

"That would be much appreciated." I wasn't about to ask her who she was... I was already beginning to get tired of it.

She brought me a pale blue dress with a wide neckline and long flowing sleeves. Some gauzy pale fabric forming patterns of flowers and over the blue silk. Though not particularly one to notice fashion, I must confess a love of pretty clothes. I barely suppressed a squeal of delight upon seeing the dress.

Smiling a little, the lady helped me dress. When I had made my way through what felt like miles of fabric, I asked the lady where I could find Galadriel and Celeborn. She smiled. "You might not be in night things, my lady, but you are still in no condition to meet our guests." She then sat me down on a chair by the bed and fussed with my hair. I didn't particularly mind but (Ai Valar!) she took a long time.

When she was finally satisfied, she smiled and stepped back from the chair, motioning for me to rise. "_Now_ I'll take you to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn." She led me outside to a sunlit garden.

Instead, I found Elrond and Glorfindel both examining a golden flower that I didn't know the name of. "Hey."

They looked up. "Celebrían! We were beginning to wonder if you had fallen ill again. Galadriel and Celeborn said they would see us here but grew anxious waiting and went to look for you," announced Glorfindel cheerfully. "I shall seek them and tell them that you are here." The elf almost skipped back inside (which I thought was a little odd—from what I knew of Middle Earth's only reembodied elf, he wasn't the cheeriest crayon in the box or however you say that).

While we waited, I looked around the garden. Roses of various colors and daylilies grew along flowers, large and small, that I could not recognize. Stone paths wound throughout the garden, made of roughly cut slate slabs. Brilliantly colored butterflies flittered among the blossoms. It was all colorful and bright, yet graceful in the elvish way. Trees shaded the garden and created dim nooks. The sunlight filtered through gaps in the canopy above. A yellow rose caught my eye, and I bent to examine it. With glowing petals that seemed too fragile to touch, the elvish rose was far more ethereal than anything I had seen at home.

Ignoring his own advice about not bothering me about remembering things, Elrond said, "Remember when we planted these roses together? I didn't want to. I said I had no gift with flowers, but you insisted. Ah, what was it that you said? 'Are you secretly a cave troll? Then why are you so reluctant to put down your paperwork and get in the sun!' And the twins were running about underfoot and getting in the way." He looked at me expectantly for a moment.

I looked up to find that he had risen from the bench and was now standing beside me. So close, in fact, that if I just shifted my weight, I would be leaning on his shoulder. To regain some personal space, I stepped off to the side a little, tripped over the uneven stone path, and fell into a bush with a spectacular crash—just as Glorfindel came with Celeborn and Galadriel. Elrond helped me up, and I brushed myself off as Elrond greeted Celeborn and Galadriel.

Though both seemed kinder and less divine than they had in the films, the aura of power that they radiated nearly made me stumble again. Elrond and Glorfindel were confident, and the twins moved with deadly grace. But the Lothlorien pair were something else entirely. I almost curtseyed, but some bizarre part of my mind had me running towards them and hugging them. I would have suppressed this suggestion, but Celeborn and Galadriel wrapped their arms around me. I felt strangely warm and safe, considering that they were quite otherworldly.

Galadriel pulled away first. "Elrond, are you certain that you have completely cleansed her of the Orc taint? A strange magic lingers over her soul." She seemed faintly worried.

I hadn't thought of that! What if they thought I was some kind of spy, here to seek out Imladris's weaknesses? I could either continue to insist that I didn't belong here, or I could try to fit in. Knowing that I would never be a proper elf, I decided to set everyone straight (or at least try). "Look, I just fell asleep in my home world and woke up here. I'm not Celebrían. I'm a human named Aspen Cheng. I don't know what I'm doing here."

Galadriel nodded pensively. "You do not speak like a human of Middle Earth, and you are certainly no dwarf or elf."

Celeborn frowned. "Since the beginning of Arda such a thing has not happened. Yet there may yet be something new under the sun."

Elrond shook his head. "But she _is _Celebrían! She has forgotten much, but…" His voice trailed off with an uncharacteristic hopelessness.

They all looked at me intently. Galadriel spoke. "We cannot resolve this matter today, nor within this year. With time, if she is Celebrían, she will remember who she is. If she is truly a human, she will die, though cloaked in an Elvish appearance. If she is an agent of darkness, she will not survive long in the halls of Imladris."

"Um hello, I'm standing right here, and no, I don't exactly want to sit around waiting to DIE."

Celeborn raised an eyebrow at my shouting, but Galadriel laid her hand on his arm. "Peace, meleth nin." To me she said, "Do you know of any other way?"

I shook my head. I couldn't think of anything. In Narnia, a magic ring would take you from one world to another, but I wasn't about to suggest looking for magic rings in Middle Earth. There really was nothing for it. "But aren't you and Lord Elrond two of the most powerful elves in Middle Earth? Can't you think of anything?"

Celeborn looked even more irritated at being brushed aside in this way, but he didn't say anything. Maybe it happens a lot.

With a yawn, Glorfindel spoke up. "These things take time, my lady. Not knowing from whence you came, how can we send you back?" I had forgotten he was there, and turned. He was sprawled under a fragrant blossoming tree across the path from the flower Elrond had told me about earlier. "Have no cares, Celebrían or Aspen, whichever you may be. Here, you will lack nothing and be cared for. Let not your lovely countenance be troubled and weary."

Elrond nudged Glorfindel with his toe. "How graciously you offer my hospitality, my golden-tressed friend."

Glorfindel yawned. "But it makes sense, doesn't it? Come, Elrond, you of all people know that I give excellent advice." He grinned.

"He speaks wisdom," Galadriel said. "Even if he does not look like it. Have no fear, my daughter."

_Well, _I thought to myself, _there are worse things than living with some really nice elves and being transformed into an elven beauty. _

"You're right. No point stressing over something I can't control and isn't my fault."

After settling the most pressing matter of the moment, they sat in the garden and talked. Galadriel and Celeborn told of happenings in their realm, how there was a promising new guard called Haldir who was a little overzealous and tended to take things to the extreme.

"It is not an evil, but sometimes I fear that he has begun to care for nothing but his duty, which is a heavy and unneeded burden for one so young."

"Haldir is cool." I said absently, having begun to wonder whether the others could hear my stomach growling.

Glorfindel tilted his head at me. "When did you meet him? A moment ago you were saying you had never been to Lothlórien."

"I… er… read about him in a book." This only raised more questions, until in the pause between one sentence and another my stomach growled with something like a million decibels.

There was a moment of astonished silence.

"I didn't eat this morning." I explained with a sheepish grin.

Because the day was so lovely, we had lunch in the garden. It was mostly salad with a mildly sour sauce and some chicken, along with a light fluffy bread. The salad was more flavorful than any I had eaten before, but it also had a lot of weird nuts in it, which were tasty, but they made your mouth tingle. Several pieces of chicken and bread later, I noticed that everyone else had stopped eating and staring at me puzzled. I beamed at them (with my mouth closed of course) and finished up in a few bites.

Elrond laughed. "I knew you that kind of bread, but I didn't know you liked it that much."

That afternoon passed pleasantly as they sat in the garden and talked. I basked in the pleasantly warm sunshine and let their lovely elvish voices wash over me. Growing drowsy, I went from sitting up, to slouching, to leaning on someone's shoulder. I would sit up in a bit, I told myself, but surely whoever it was wouldn't mind me for a moment longer. _I ought to sit up, but he's so deep in conversation he won't notice. While I'm at it I'll just rest my eyes for a bit too…_


	5. I Cause a Commotion

New formatting styles! :D (Also why do I always upload at like, 2:30 AM?!)

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A gentle bump distracted Glorfindel from telling an amusing tale of how one of his men had tried to tame a very furry spider the size of his palm. Glorfindel paused mid-sentence and would have continued, but a strange look had come over the face of his companions. He glanced down, to see what could possibly be the matter.

The lady of Imladris, his best friend's wife, was slightly dozing on his shoulder. _What should I do? _He frantically tried to think, but was frozen in embarrassment. In battle, Glorfindel had carried wounded comrades, both male and female, to safety. He'd treated But this was different. He knew Elrond would understand, but it wasn't something he had ever encountered.

From where he sat on the corner of the cloth they had used as a table, he could see Elrond and Celeborn's expressions-hard to read in the best of times. To his right, Galadriel observed him with her unchanging eyes and serene smile as always. Celebrían had sat in between him and Elrond-couldn't she have just leaned a little more to the left?

.:-:.

Celeborn cursed himself mentally for not noticing that his little daughter was exhausted to the point of sleeping sitting up. He should have noticed, should have sent her to bed earlier, should have been more alert. Even if she didn't remember who she was, she was still his treasured child. He hurried over to her and caught her as her head slipped from off Glorfindel's shoulder. On the edges of his vision he noticed an uncomfortable cough from Glorfindel but paid no heed. O_f course she doesn't recognize you, you who call yourself a father._ The day she was captured had been Galadriel's birthday. He had wanted to surprise his beloved wife and had asked all their children in far-flung regions to come home. They all arrived safely-except Celebrían. Captured and tortured by Orcs on the way to see her own father and mother. Should have insisted that she take more guards, should have sent guards to her, no shouldn't have asked her to make the journey. Galadriel would have foreseen it had he only asked her. It went farther back. Shouldn't have let her leave Lothlórien, shouldn't have let her meet Elrond, should have kept her home safe and sound.

A hand resting lightly on his arm brought him back to the present. Galadriel, ever wise and lovely, only looked at him, and he knew that he had been muttering. Again. She gracefully knelt beside him and spoke softly. "Celeborn, my love, do not curse or grieve. None of us are to blame for her sufferings, and she is already well. Perhaps it is for the best that she cannot remember the past." Celeborn drew a deep, shuddering breath. Galadriel spoke truth, as always.

.:-:.

Glorfindel edged away from Celeborn, who cradled his daughter and muttered to himself. To watch as one of Middle Earth's wisest elves lose his seemingly all-knowing calm, wracked with guilt and loss surely constituted a form of great disrespect. Though Glorfindel was a valiant warrior and brilliant strategist, he could offer no aid here. After all, he was only a friend, and this was clearly a family matter. As quietly as he could, he left the garden.

.:-:.

Galadriel stifled a gasp of dismay at Celeborn's state of mind. Unnecessary guilt was a terrible place to be for anyone but could be deadly among elves. She was not particularly concerned about Celebrían at this stage in her healing. Though Galadriel had fretted when she heard the news of the attack, she was relieved to see how well Elrond had healed Celebrían. Perhaps it was for the best that her daughter could not remember anything. Galadriel resolved to instruct Elrond, Celeborn, and Glorfindel to cease their attempts to reconstruct her memories. She persuaded Celeborn to leave Celebrían with Elrond in the garden. (No, he shouldn't carry Celebrían inside. Yes, she would be fine. No, there would be no rain. Yes, she was completely confident that Elrond alone could protect her and watch over her.) When Celeborn finally agreed, she carefully gathered Celebrían in her arms. Galadriel allowed herself a moment of nostalgia for the times when Celebrían was small and would raise her arms upwards, asking to be held. Then she carefully laid her in Elrond's lap.

.:-:.

Something brushed my cheek, and I tried to bat it away. I opened my eyes slowly. After a panicked, disoriented moment in which I wondered where my nightstand and dresser had gone, I realized that I was still in the garden, but the light had changed. Crickets chirping and birdsong only emphasized the absolute quiet. A mysterious elf-bred flower had opened to the setting sun and gave off a sweet perfume-not too strong, but noticeable. I lay on a soft but thin pallet like my memory foam mattress topper at home. A light blanket covered me against the slight chill in the air, and there was a delightfully fluffy pillow under my head._ Now this is what I call magical. A perfect end to a perfect day, and a nice comfy nap outside. _Knowing that Imladris held no dangers whatsoever helped too. I would never sleep in the garden at home for fear of terrible people and feral animals in the shadows. Just thinking about it made me a bit nervous. I sat up.

"Good evening, star of my heart." Elrond had hardly left my side since I first saw him. He sat on a small cushion beside the pallet with a book in one hand. With his other hand, he stroked my hair. Somehow the gesture did not strike me as odd, as it had before. It felt warm and familiar. The only thing that bothered me was an itch in the back of my mind. I knew that feeling well and hated it. Back home I would often wake up with the feeling that I had an amazing dream, but could never quite recall it. I literally scratched my head in a vain attempt to make the feeling go away.

"Elrond?"

"Yes?"

"What is Celebrían like?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What's she like? The person you think I am?"

He hesitated. "You truly do not believe that you are Celebrían, do you?"

"Excellent powers of deduction there." I immediately felt bad about my sarcastic comment. "Sorry. Wasn't trying to be mean."

He looked at me, as if committing me to memory, and looked away. "Celebrían is graceful, radiant, beautiful-but you can see that for yourself in a looking glass. She was, no _is_, loyal and detailed like your-her-father, Celeborn, but radiant and gentle like Galadriel. She laughs often at small things. She dances whether or not anyone is watching, but her dances are best when she thinks no one is watching."

"I wish I was graceful and gentle. I kind of wish I was Celebrían, just so you and the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien could be happy. In my world, they tell tales of you elves, and you always seem so sad. It seems awful that you think you have Celebrían back only to get me."

Elrond shook his head. "It is not awful. Celebrían, Aspen, whatever you call yourself, the only change I have seen since you lost your memory is that you ask me more questions. You are still graceful, even if you fall into bushes, and you were as gentle with Elrohir and Elladan as you always were. That is why I believe you are my dearest Celebrían-because there could be no one else in the world exactly like you."

There was nothing I could say after that, so we sat in perfect silence, bathed the fading light, and watched as the dusk turned to night.

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As usual, tell me if the characters seem realistic, whether dialogue sounds right, etc. I literally rewrote Galadriel's words five or six times. -_-  
Thanks for the reviews! They really inspire me to work harder! :D


	6. I Procure Free Food and Give Lectures

Tell me what you think of the new chapter titles! (Let's be honest. The old ones were not helpful at all.) Tell me what you think of the new title, too! "Sometimes Joy, Sometimes Sorrow," comes from a rough translation of the title of my favorite Bollywood movie, _Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham._

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Since the picnic in the garden, Glorfindel had been conspicuously leaving Elrond and me by ourselves as much as he could without being rude. He was attempting to be subtle, I could tell, but to no avail. Galadriel was occupied with Celeborn, who had not been the same since his breakdown several days earlier. They hadn't left, because Celeborn was still worried and refused to leave until I regained my memory. Thankfully, Galadriel was significantly more subtle than Glorfindel about giving Elrond and me time to ourselves. I supposed that she had instructed Elrohir and Elladan to leave us alone (not that they did.)

Either way, all of them were busy with other things. Once they had ascertained that I was fairly well, Elrond, Glorfindel, Celeborn, and Galadriel were often busy in the mornings with other things. There was much to do in running Imladris, I learned, as I saw the two good friends constantly dashing off to solve one problem or another. Meanwhile, Celeborn and Galadriel held daily palantir sessions (it's like Skype, but with a wacky webcam) with those they'd left in charge back in Lothlórien. Elrohir and Elladan accompanied me when they could, but they often were needed to train younger elves in archery or swordplay, or help their father with numerous tiresome tasks.

My mornings were left free to explore Rivendell. After a few days of this, I avoided the inner chambers, since I didn't want to accidentally interrupt a meeting, knock over a servant carrying pastries, or inadvertently cause a pitcher of wine to fall on Elrond's head. (If you ever visit Elrond's house, check out the stairs leading from the kitchen to the cellars. On the third stair from the top, there's a large, reddish stain. Yep. That was me.)

Rivendell is built into a deep chasm. There are houses, shops, schools and halls built into the chasm's rocky sides and on the floor of the valley. But that's not all. Some structures hang suspended by cables, or supported by impossibly thin pillars, so that they float several stories above the valley floor. There are trees everywhere, and some houses are even built into trees. Winding paths and amazingly thin bridges connect each side of the chasm to the buildings that float above the ground. At almost any time of day, you can see elves leaning out over balcony railings, calling to each other or watching the bustle down below. Music floats throughout the streets from open windows. Most of it fills the air with beauty, but occasionally you'll pass a house where a young elfling is having a music lesson..

Not all elves of Imladris are great and noble tragic characters. I'd estimate that about half of the population of Rivendell run food stands. I saw Extremely Organic Popsicles, which I assume is sweetened fruit juice frozen into shapes of animals, people, or flowers. On one of my roamings, I even saw several little elflings sharing a small ice replica of Rivendell itself. Some vendors sell salads, and others full meals in convenient little round boxes. There are fruits carved with pretty little designs, candied pastries, and sparkly sweets. Even the simplest snack is made with finesse.

One day, a pastry stand caught my eye, and I approached the vendor.

"Good morning, my lady! It is good to see that you are well again. I've made some peach buns for you!"

Peach buns? I didn't even know elves _had_ peach buns! "Thank you! Peach buns are my favorite! But… how did you know I like peach buns?"

His smile faltered, and he murmured to himself, "So the rumours are true."

"I beg your pardon?"

He shook his head and beamed at me purposefully. "You come here every morning for a peach bun, my lady. You told me yourself that I make the best peach buns in all of Rivendell."

Perplexed, I accepted the peach bun he handed to me. I could feel the warmth of the freshly steamed bun though the paper. A gentle breeze wafted the scent of red bean paste towards me. I left quickly, remembering to say "thank you" in the nick of time. I shouldn't have been surprised that there were rumours of Celebrían's "loss of memory," but I was.

Well then. At least I got a peach bun out of that.

My short conversation with the peach bun vendor had attracted more attention than I wanted. Now, I could hear elves whispering. "Is she really Lady Celebrían?" "It looks like her for sure." "No, she has none of the grace of Lórien. My cousin, who works in the infirmary, told me that she claims to be Asp, of another world." "Lord Elrond says she is Celebrían, and I'm inclined to believe him over that cousin of yours." "Elrond is blinded by grief, and this Asp-woman has deceived him."

I could feel my cheeks burning with rage. _Avoid them. Don't look at them. Don't start a fight with them._ Elrond didn't need any more problems on his hands. I walked faster and faster, not caring where my footsteps took me. I found myself in a quiet, small garden tucked in an obscure corner of Rivendell. I collapsed on the back steps of some shop, still seething. It was when those people began to talk that I had realized how truly alone I was in this world. No one knew me. No one knew anything of my world. I remembered my peach bun, which had been swinging precariously in the little paper bag but had luckily not fallen out or gotten squashed. Peeling off the little square of paper on the bottom, I began to eat the bun to soothe my irritated spirits. As I savored the first bite of fresh white bread and red bean paste, I felt a little tug on my sleeve.

"Naneth?"

Oh no. Not again. I looked up and swallowed my mouthful of peach bun.

A raven-haired elf maiden sat beside me, blinking in disbelief. Her dark eyes reminded me of someone… She wore a maroon-colored dress and a wire-thin silver band in her hair. I realized belatedly who she resembled. Elrond. This was none other than Arwen Undomiel.

"Arwen?"

She beamed. "You remember me, Naneth?"

Of course I remembered her. _My littlest one, my only daughter. How could I forget? _I shook my head. What an absurd thought! Where'd that come from? I remembered her from the books and films, of course. She was one of my favorite characters. Though as a young elf-maiden she was much more wide-eyed and talkative. She was saying something that I hadn't entirely paid attention to.

"…And Haruni said you were sick and not to bother you but I snuck—"

"Sneaked. Snuck isn't a word," I automatically corrected. At least I hoped it wasn't a word in Elvish.

"Sneaked into your room and you were lying there muttering nonsense like 'Ay squared plus bee squared equals sea squared.' And I was just thinking about how the sea wasn't square and could never be square and then Ada found me and then he wasn't mad but Haruni was and—"

"Wait. Who's Haruni again?"

She stopped and looked at me. "Haruni is Lady Galadriel of Lórien, Naneth," she said slowly.

Oh. So Haruni meant grandmother. "Of course. Sorry. You were saying?"

"Haruni was mad at me and took me to live with her and Haru—that's Celeborn—and I was allowed to look into the Mirror and I saw—I saw that you woke up and forgot everyone, even Ada and I was so scared!" Here she burst into tears.

I put my arm around her and drew her close. When the sobs turned to sniffles, I offered her my peach bun. "Here. Eat something. It'll make you feel better."

She smiled up at me through her tears and took the bun. "I _knew_ the Mirror was wrong. You would never forget me! People are saying you aren't you, but that's not true because you're just the same as always because like when the other elflings were teasing me for being little you gave me a peach bun then and told me not to worry because what they thought didn't matter anyway and I'm just so glad you're back." She climbed into my lap, leaned against me, and curled up to eat her bun. It was somehow comforting to hold a small child, and I found my anger, frustration, and loneliness draining away. I didn't notice Elrond's soft footsteps or tall shadow and was utterly surprised when he appeared sitting beside me, patting Arwen's head.

"Arwen! Thank Eru you're all right!" said Elrond, sounding greatly relieved. "Where have you been?"

Arwen smiled and hid her face in my robes. We heard a muffled "I came in Haruni's luggage."

"Don't go off without telling someone next time, my little star. We all thought something terrible happened to you."

I looked at him over Arwen's head, puzzled. I had not been aware of this, having assumed that Arwen was in the care of a nurse somewhere else in the castle.

He said softly, "We didn't tell you because we didn't want you to worry. When Celeborn and Galadriel first came, Haldir sent a messenger reporting that Arwen had gone missing. We were terrified that… but no, she is well, and everything is all right."

"You were terrified that she had been captured. Like me," I guessed.

Arwen looked up at me. "Captured? You were captured? By whom?"

"Shh… It is not something you should concern yourself with, my precious one," said Elrond. "We should go back and tell Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn." He picked up Arwen, who had left crumbs all over the front of my dress (and hers). I walked beside him, content to let Arwen chatter happily on.

When we arrived back at the castle, the Lord and Lady of Lórien were relieved to see that Arwen was unharmed. Celeborn proceeded to give her a long lecture about safety and the dangers of not telling people where you were. I wasn't sure whether she really paid any attention, but she nodded and smiled in all the right places. Elrond was not particularly lenient with the little elf maiden. At Erestor's suggestion, he grounded her for a year (Erestor phrased it in a better way but I forgot what he said). She was not to leave Elrond's house and gardens unless there was an emergency.

"But—but—but I just wanted to see Naneth!" she cried, her pretty dark eyes brimming with tears.

I sat down beside her. "I understand, but it's important that we know where you are. There are lots of dangerous things outside Rivendell and Lórien. Like Orcs and wolves and robbers. You can't just go off like that without telling anyone."

The more I spoke, the worse I felt. What right did I have to lecture someone else's child as if I was her mother? If the real Celebrían was here now, she would probably hate me so much. Here I was, in her house, wearing her clothes, eating her food, being loved by her family. But it was for the greater good, I told myself. Little Arwen had to learn to be cautious. Middle Earth wasn't exactly Narnia. If Arwen got some idea to run off somewhere and "surprise" a friend, she might be killed and Elrond would lose his connection to the human world and Aragorn would have less motivation to become king of Gondor and the sword wouldn't be reforged. So I was doing a good thing, I told myself.

Arwen grew very still. "Were you—were you attacked by Orcs? On the way to Lórien? I heard Ada and Uncle Erestor say something about Orcs."

Now this was going to be tricky. I could tell that Elrond hadn't originally intended to tell Arwen about what had happened to Celebrían. But my parents back home hadn't raised me by hiding hard things from me. I wasn't about to be like every irritating adult ever and tell a kid to "wait until you're older." It was kind of like lying, since _I _wasn't attacked by Orcs, but I wasn't about to further complicate the situation.

I swallowed. "Yes, Arwen. I was. And it's not something I want to happen to you. Your brothers rescued me, but it was still awful. I don't want you to get hurt, so don't go outside Rivendell alone. Don't go anywhere without telling someone, and don't go anywhere for another year, all right?"

Arwen cuddled close to me. "All right, Naneth," she said in a small voice.

"Good girl." I made a mental note to ask the twins to teach their little sister some archery.

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Technically peach buns are Chinese, and elves are Western, but can't you imagine elves eating peach buns? ^.^ Also how do elves punish their children, anyway? Also check out this adorable story: "His-Cutest-Bodyguards," which you can find by searching for ElrondxCelebrían stuff on There's a lot of other adorable stuff out there, but FFnet doesn't let me link things. D:


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